


Last Kiss

by endgamehale



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Barisi - Freeform, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Established Relationship, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Not Beta Read, i was so emo tonight i am sorry, i wrote this in one sitting and I'm sorry its 12 am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 20:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16415015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endgamehale/pseuds/endgamehale
Summary: Really, he should have known.





	Last Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> hi if this sucks my excuse s that i was awake at midnight avoiding my english discussion BUT also listening to taylor swift so here u go

Really, he should have known. His mami had warned him- Olivia even, had warned him. It was dangerous to date a detective. They put their lives in jeopardy almost every day. And yet, he would not listen. He loved him too much. His sweet smile, sweet baby blues that lit up almost as much as he did- always the life of the party, dragging Rafael to dance with him in the kitchen as he cooked, or stopping his winded rants with kisses sweeter than whatever he had been snacking on. Kisses that he had never thought would end. 

-

He remembers their conversations about this. They had laid in bed until the early morning, whispering, as if others could hear the secrets that spilled from their lips. 

"I love you, more than you will ever know. If anything were to happen to me, I want you to know that. That I love you, and I want you to take care of yourself, because I might not be there to." Rafael had touched his face, tears in his eyes. How could he even be speaking like this? "Rafael, I need you to promise me, baby, that you'll take care of yourself." As much as it hurt him, he nodded. They didn't talk much after that, but held each other tighter than ever before. 

-

He remembers their first dance. It was at some big party for the DA's office, _he_  had been invited to make some connections- he did pass the bar, after all. They had spent the evening together, talking quietly and drinking, saying the occasional hello to a passerby. Really, Rafael felt bad about the fact that he was  _not_ making connections, but the company was too good. A slower song played, and a hand was extended to him. 

"Care to dance?" No, he really did not. If anything, he hated dancing. But the blue eyes were warm, and his smile was shy, a hind of teasing behind it. He took the hand.

"Of course."

-

He remembers the first rough case. Really rough. The usual pale skin of his partner has splatters of red- blood soaked through the dress shirt he was wearing. The blue eyes that were always so bright seemed to be cloudy tonight, and his bright smile had gone into hiding, too. Rafael had taken him into his arms- holding tight, tighter. He gave him a shower, tucked him in. Ran his hands through his hair until he had fallen asleep. And then Rafael watched. The slow rise of his chest, lips that were parted letting out small snores. The wrinkles that were smoothed out, making him look years and years younger. He really was beautiful. 

-

He remembers their last kiss. It wasn't long before he had known he would never see him again. They had been in bed, Rafael's hands intertwined with blond curls. 

"I love you." It had made him smile, he was happy. He was so in love.

"I love you." Blue eyes smiled back at him before hands were grabbing his face, soft lips meeting his own.

"Ew, morning breath, bum." Those eyes, again, crinkling up. 

"I love you, and you love my morning breath."

-

He remembers when he had gotten the news. There was rain pattering down on his window. He was wearing a green tie- one that had he had been told matched his eyes. Olivia has called him.

He remembers not being able to breathe, and nothing else. It felt like the hand of God himself was on his throat, squeezing until he could no longer talk or scream or cry. He doesn't remember anything else except what Olivia said. Sonny is dead.

-

Now, he sits in the kitchen. Long sweats rolled up and a "Fordham Law" hoodie on. Pictures in his hand as he tried to ignore the ache in his chest. The pain that coursed through his whole body, coming up into his throat and leaving that feeling of not being able to breathe. Pictures of him could never amount to to the beauty he was, but for now, Rafael would hold them close. 

"I love you too, Son. And your morning breath."

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave kudos and comments even if its hate i love it rly


End file.
